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For many Australians facing infertility, embryo adoption  and embryo donation  offer a unique opportunity to experience pregnancy and grow their families. While these terms are often used interchangeably, they have key differences in the Australian legal and medical landscape. If you are considering embryo donation or embryo adoption please reach out to Emma Austin  at Your Story Counselling.   After 10 years of trying to have a baby, Emma conceived via embryo adoption. Emma is a open book on this topic and here to answer any of your questions or concerns. Please note all medical and legal advice will be referred back to your fertility clinic and specialist. What is Embryo Donation? Embryo donation occurs when individuals or couples who have undergone in vitro fertilisation (IVF) choose to donate their remaining embryos to another person or couple. These embryos are typically stored after the donors have completed their own fertility journey. In Australia, embryo donation is considered a form of gamete donation , similar to egg or sperm donation, and is managed through fertility clinics. Key Aspects of Embryo Donation in Australia: The donation process is anonymous or known , depending on clinic policies and state laws. Donors and recipients undergo counselling and medical screening  to ensure informed consent. Legal parentage is automatically assigned to the birth mother and her partner (if applicable) under Australian law. No financial compensation is permitted for embryo donation. What is Embryo Adoption? Unlike traditional adoption, embryo adoption  is not legally recognised in Australia. Instead, it is treated as an embryo donation process  under fertility laws. However, some people prefer the term embryo adoption  when there is a more personal matching process between the donating and receiving families. Key Differences in Embryo Adoption: Often involves a more open relationship  between the donor and recipient families. Some organisations facilitate matching, similar to an adoption framework, though legally it remains a donation. Recipients may have a say in selecting an embryo based on the donors’ background and values. Just like embryo donation, the birth mother is considered the legal parent. Legal and Ethical Considerations in Australia Australia has strict regulations to ensure the ethical treatment of embryo donation : The National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC)  provides guidelines for embryo donation. Donors and recipients must undergo mandatory counselling  to discuss emotional, medical, and legal implications. Clinics maintain donor-conceived registers to allow potential access to genetic information in the future. Unlike overseas programs, Australian embryo donation does not permit commercial transactions. Which Option is Right for You? Choosing between embryo adoption  and embryo donation  in Australia depends on your personal preferences regarding anonymity, relationships with donors, and the level of involvement in the process. While legally they are the same, the way families choose to navigate these options can differ.

Your First Counselling for Infertility Session Starting infertility counselling can feel overwhelming, especially when you're already navigating the emotional rollercoaster of trying to conceive. Whether you’re considering IVF, donor options, embryo adoption, or grieving pregnancy loss, fertility counselling offers a supportive and non-judgemental space to process what you're going through. Your first session at Your Story Counselling is always via Zoom or Teams. This allows you to have a session in the comfort of your own home, at a time that suits you. It's convenient, easy and stress-free. A time we can get to know each other and assess if we are the right fit. There is no commitment for a second session if it doesn't feel right for you. So, what actually happens during your first session? Here’s what you can expect—and why this first step can be a powerful turning point in your journey. The First Session: Building a Foundation of Support Your initial fertility counselling session is often referred to as an “assessment", but rest assured, it’s not a test. It’s a thoughtful, guided conversation designed to help your counsellor understand your experience and how best to support you. Here are some of the key areas that may be explored during your first session: 1. What’s Your Fertility Story? Every journey to parenthood is unique. As your counsellor will begin by gently asking you to share your fertility story—what’s happened so far, how it has impacted you, and what you’re hoping for. “Tell me about your story.” 2. Your Reproductive Goals What are your goals around family building? Have they evolved over time? This conversation helps you reflect on your hopes, and how you've come to where you are now. “What are your reproductive goals? Have they always been the same?” 3. How You Make Reproductive Decisions Infertility often brings difficult decisions—many that are unexpected or brought forward earlier than planned. I may ask about how you and your partner (if applicable) have navigated choices like treatment, timing, and options for family building. “What has it been like making these decisions?” 4. What Influences Your Experience? Fertility is more than just a medical issue—it’s symbolic, emotional, and deeply personal. As your counsellor I may explore your family history, health, cultural beliefs, and what parenthood means to you. “What does it mean to be a parent to you? How has infertility impacted your sense of identity?” 5. How It’s Affecting Your Life Fertility challenges can affect every area of life. Together, we may explore how infertility is impacting your: Emotional wellbeing Relationships Finances Career Physical health Sex life Social activities and travel “In what ways is this experience showing up in your everyday life?” 6. Your Relationship as a Couple If you're in a relationship, as your counsellor I may ask how you and your partner are coping together. Are you aligned in your hopes and decisions, or navigating differences? “Are you and your partner on the same page? What does that look like?” 7. Understanding How You Cope How you’ve received comfort and support throughout your life can shape how you manage distress now. I may gently explore your attachment style and patterns of emotional support. “Who comforted you as a child? Who do you turn to now, and how do they support you?” 8. The Choices You're Facing Many decisions in fertility are complex and emotionally charged—about DNA, treatment paths, timing, and more. This is a space to unpack those choices and what they mean to you. “What decisions are you facing now that you never expected?” 9. Grief and Loss in Infertility Disenfranchised grief—grief that is not widely recognised—often accompanies fertility challenges. The loss of a dream, control, identity, or expected future can be as intense as physical loss. “How has this affected your self-esteem, body image, relationships, or sense of security?” 10. What Are You Feeling Right Now? Infertility can stir up a mix of emotions—sadness, anxiety, anger, stress, shame—and can also show up in behaviours like fatigue, disorganisation, obsessive thinking or mood swings. As your counsellor I will listen not just to your words, but to the emotions beneath them. “What are you feeling right now?” Fertility Counselling is a Safe, Personalised Space There’s no right or wrong way to experience infertility counselling. Whether you’re seeking clarity, emotional release, or guidance through decision-making, your session will be tailored to meet you where you are. You don’t have to face this journey alone. Ready to Begin? At Your Story Counselling, I support individuals and couples navigating the emotional impact of infertility, fertility treatment, pregnancy loss, and alternative pathways to parenthood. If you or someone you know could benefit from a compassionate space to talk, process, and find support, meet Emma Austin. 👉 Visit to book your first session or learn more.

A recent story has left me with a whirlwind of thoughts, questions, and emotions. The tale of an embryo mix-up—where one family’s cherished hope unexpectedly becomes another's miracle—challenges our deepest assumptions about life, consent, and the intricate processes behind assisted reproduction. To learn more about this case, check out the original report here . A Personal Reflection I know intimately the emotional labyrinth that comes with carrying an embryo. It’s a journey that begins with hope, trust, and the belief that every step is agreed upon by all parties involved. In my own experience, I understood the profound commitment of donating and nurturing potential life. Every detail of the process was approached with an open heart and clear expectations—a mutual agreement to honour the gift of life and the next steps that would follow. However, in this particular case, those expectations were shattered. It was not what anyone signed up for. The embryo, believed to be safely reserved for future use by one couple, instead became the foundation of a new beginning for another family. This unexpected turn has left me questioning how such a profound human error was made. The Emotional Cost My heart goes out to the family who believed they had an embryo on ice for their future—a future that was suddenly upended. For many couples undergoing IVF, every embryo represents not just a biological starting point but also dreams, plans, and an emotional investment in a future family. The realisation that something so personal could be taken and used elsewhere is, in the most literal sense, devastating. The emotional toll can be overwhelming. The trust between medical practitioners and families is sacred, and breaches of that trust can lead to feelings of betrayal, grief, and profound loss. How do you cope when a part of your future is unexpectedly rewritten? Navigating the Ethical Maze This situation raises significant ethical questions. How do we navigate the fine lines of consent and responsibility in reproductive medicine? Each party involved—whether the donor, the recipient, or the professionals handling these delicate procedures—holds a stake in the outcome. It’s a stark reminder that in the ever-evolving landscape of IVF and assisted reproduction, communication, legal safeguards, and ethical considerations must remain at the forefront of decision-making. As technology and medicine continue to advance, so too must our frameworks for understanding and managing these sensitive issues. When mistakes happen, as they have in this instance, it becomes all the more crucial for all parties to come together and determine a resolution that prioritises the welfare of the child involved. Finding a Path Forward While my personal feelings are deeply mixed, I earnestly hope that all the parties involved can come to an agreement that serves the best interests of the child. The child, regardless of the circumstances of conception, deserves love, security, and the support of a community that acknowledges both the complexity and beauty of their life. The discussion around this case isn’t just about right or wrong—it’s about understanding how we can refine our practices, and prevent similar occurrences in the future. It is an opportunity for dialogue on how best to support families navigating these uncharted waters. Invitation for Discussion I am curious about what others think of this story. What does this mix-up say about the nature of consent in IVF procedures? How can we safeguard the emotional well-being of all families involved? And what steps should clinics and regulators take to avoid such occurrences in the future? Your thoughts, reflections, and insights are invaluable. Please share your perspectives in the comments, and let’s work together to explore the broader implications of this deeply personal and impactful issue. For help navigating embryo donation or adoption meet Emma Austin at yourstorycounselling.net

Infertility is a challenging and emotional experience for many couples. While most people are familiar with primary infertility, secondary infertility is a lesser-known condition that affects millions of families worldwide. If you’ve successfully conceived before but are now struggling to get pregnant again, you may be facing secondary infertility. What is Secondary Infertility? Secondary infertility is the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after previously having one or more children without fertility assistance. It can be just as emotionally distressing as primary infertility, leaving couples confused and frustrated about why they are now struggling to conceive. Causes of Secondary Infertility There are several possible reasons why secondary infertility occurs, including: 1. Age-Related Fertility Decline As individuals age, fertility naturally declines, especially for women over the age of 35. Diminished ovarian reserve and lower egg quality can make conception more difficult. 2. Hormonal Imbalances Conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), thyroid disorders, and irregular ovulation can impact fertility. 3. Structural Issues Scarring from previous pregnancies, endometriosis, or fibroids can block the fallopian tubes or affect the uterus, making implantation difficult. 4. Sperm Quality Decline Male factor infertility, such as reduced sperm count or motility, can also contribute to secondary infertility. 5. Lifestyle and Health Changes Weight gain, stress, smoking, alcohol consumption, and other lifestyle changes can negatively affect fertility. 6. Complications from Previous Pregnancy Some women may develop medical conditions after childbirth, such as Asherman’s syndrome (uterine scarring), that affect fertility. The Emotional Toll of Secondary Infertility Secondary infertility can be just as emotionally overwhelming as primary infertility. Many couples experience feelings of frustration, guilt, and isolation. The pressure to give their existing child a sibling can add additional stress. This emotional burden can take a toll on mental health, relationships, and overall wellbeing. How Counselling Can Help with Secondary Infertility Fertility struggles can impact every aspect of life, from emotional health to relationships. Counselling provides a supportive space to help individuals and couples cope with the challenges of secondary infertility. 1. Emotional Support A fertility counsellor can help you process feelings of grief, anxiety, and frustration associated with infertility. Talking about your emotions can help you feel heard and validated. 2. Coping Strategies Counsellors can provide tools to manage stress, reduce anxiety, and improve mental wellbeing while navigating fertility treatments or natural conception efforts. 3. Relationship Strengthening Fertility struggles can strain relationships. Counselling can improve communication between partners and help them work through emotional distress together. 4. Decision-Making Guidance Whether you are considering assisted reproductive technologies like IVF or exploring alternative options, counselling can help you make informed and confident choices about your fertility journey. 5. Addressing Guilt and Self-Blame Many individuals experiencing secondary infertility feel guilt or self-blame. A trained fertility counsellor can help reframe these thoughts and provide emotional reassurance. Seeking Help for Secondary Infertility If you’re struggling with secondary infertility, know that you’re not alone. Seeking professional medical advice, lifestyle changes, and emotional support can help navigate this journey. Combining medical treatments with fertility counselling can create a holistic approach, helping individuals and couples not only improve their chances of conception but also maintain their mental wellbeing during the process. Final Thoughts Secondary infertility can be a heartbreaking and unexpected challenge, but with the right support, hope remains. Whether through medical intervention or emotional counselling, many couples find a path that works for them. If you are experiencing secondary infertility, consider reaching out Emma Austin at Your Story Counselling . Emma has helped many people experiencing secondary infertility and is here to help you. View Emma's services here.

Understanding the Difference Between a Counsellor and a Psychologist When seeking mental health support, many people wonder about the difference between a counsellor  and a psychologist . While both professionals provide valuable therapy and guidance, they have distinct roles in mental health care. Understanding these differences can help you choose the right support for your needs. 1. Education and Training Counsellor : Typically holds a diploma, bachelor’s, or master’s degree in counselling  or a related field. Their training focuses on providing emotional support and guidance for everyday life challenges. Psychologist : Requires a higher level of education, usually a master’s or doctoral degree (PhD or PsyD) in psychology. Their training includes research, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health conditions. 2. Scope of Practice Counsellor : Helps clients navigate personal and emotional challenges like relationships, stress, grief & loss, and infertility counselling , other concerns. They focus on talk therapy and problem-solving strategies. Psychologist : Can diagnose and treat mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. They use evidence-based psychological assessments and therapies like cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). 3. Treatment Approach Counsellor : Provides short-term support, helping individuals manage life challenges with coping techniques and personal growth strategies. Psychologist : Works with clients on both short- and long-term mental health issues, often using structured psychological interventions and therapy models. 4. Medical and Clinical Role Counsellor : Does not diagnose mental health disorders or prescribe medication. Psychologist : Can diagnose mental illnesses and may work alongside psychiatrists who prescribe medication. 5. When to See a Counsellor vs. a Psychologist See a counsellor  if you need support for stress, relationships, self-esteem, career challenges, mild anxiety, grief and loss , infertility or fertility counselling. See a psychologist  if you have persistent mental health concerns, require a diagnosis, or need structured therapy for conditions like depression, trauma, or phobias. Choosing the Right Counselling Support If you're looking for professional counselling , it's essential to consider your specific needs. A counsellor  can help with day-to-day challenges, while a psychologist  is more suited for diagnosing and treating mental health disorders. Seeking counselling  is a positive step towards improving your emotional well-being, building resilience, and developing coping strategies. Both professionals provide valuable mental health support, but choosing between them depends on your personal circumstances. If you're unsure where to start, speaking with a counsellor  can be an excellent first step towards mental wellness. For expert counselling  services tailored to your needs, reach out to a qualified professional today and take the first step towards better mental health. Emma Austin's  qualifications include an MBA, Diploma of Counselling, Australian Counselling Association membership and lived experiences with infertility and loss.

Fertility and infertility can be deeply personal and emotional experiences. Whether you are planning to conceive or facing challenges with infertility, professional counselling  can provide invaluable support. However, many people are unsure about the difference between fertility counselling  and infertility counselling . While these terms are often used interchangeably, they serve distinct purposes. What is Fertility Counselling? Fertility counselling  is designed for individuals or couples who are considering conception and want guidance on optimising their reproductive health. This type of counselling helps address: Emotional and psychological preparation for pregnancy Lifestyle changes to enhance fertility Understanding reproductive options, including IVF and egg/sperm donation Managing anxiety and stress related to conception Exploring alternative family-building methods, such as surrogacy Fertility counselling is beneficial even for those who have not yet faced fertility challenges but want to take a proactive approach to conception. What is Infertility Counselling? On the other hand, infertility counselling  is specifically for those experiencing difficulty in conceiving. It provides emotional support and coping strategies for individuals and couples dealing with the stress and disappointment. Key areas of focus include: Coping with the emotional impact of infertility Navigating the complexities of fertility treatments Managing relationship challenges due to infertility struggles Dealing with grief after unsuccessful treatments or pregnancy loss Exploring alternative options like adoption or surrogacy Infertility counselling plays a crucial role in helping individuals process their emotions, make informed decisions, and find healthy ways to move forward. Key Differences Between Fertility and Infertility Counselling Aspect Fertility Counselling Infertility Counselling Purpose Supports conception planning and reproductive health Helps individuals cope with infertility challenges Who it’s for Individuals/couples looking to conceive Those struggling to conceive or dealing with failed treatments Focus Areas Lifestyle, emotional readiness, treatment options Emotional impact, coping strategies, alternative paths Emotional Support Prepares for potential challenges Helps manage stress, grief, and disappointment Why Counselling Matters for Fertility and Infertility Both fertility  and infertility counselling  provide crucial emotional support and expert guidance. Fertility journeys can be unpredictable, and professional counselling can help individuals and couples navigate their experiences with greater confidence and resilience. If you are planning to conceive or facing difficulties in doing so, seeking counselling can offer clarity, emotional relief, and expert advice tailored to your unique situation. Final Thoughts Understanding the difference between fertility counselling  and infertility counselling  is essential for choosing the right support for your journey. Whether you are preparing for pregnancy or struggling with infertility, counselling can empower you with knowledge, coping strategies, and emotional resilience. If you’re looking for professional guidance, reach out to a qualified fertility specialist or Emma Austin at Your Story Counselling for infertility counselling support. Explore your options and take the next step in your reproductive journey.

Have you ever sat across the table from a friend, family member, or co-worker who said, "Just relax, it will happen."? Did you feel an overwhelming urge to scream, cry, or wonder if you will ever actually have a baby? How can you possibly relax when you are going through one of the most stressful experiences of your life, all while pumping your body with hormones? Infertility, IVF, and fertility treatments are physically and emotionally exhausting. Grief and loss following a miscarriage or failed treatment can feel unbearable. Well-meaning but misguided comments can add to that pain, making an already difficult journey even harder. Below are the top things not to say to someone experiencing infertility, undergoing fertility treatment, or grieving a pregnancy or baby loss. What Not to Say to Someone Facing Infertility, Fertility Treatment, or Loss 1. "At least you know you can get pregnant." Pregnancy loss is devastating, and this phrase dismisses the emotional and physical toll it takes. Knowing conception is possible doesn’t ease the grief of losing a baby. 2. "You can try again." This minimizes the loss and assumes that trying again is simple. Every loss is unique, and trying again may not be emotionally, physically, or financially feasible. 3. "Just relax." Telling someone struggling with infertility to relax is dismissive. Stress doesn’t cause infertility, and fertility treatments involve complex medical factors beyond someone’s control. 4. "Take a holiday." Infertility isn’t something that disappears with a vacation. A getaway won’t change medical conditions requiring treatment, and suggesting this may make someone feel like they aren’t doing enough. 5. "It wasn't meant to be." This implies that their loss was somehow predestined or acceptable. It’s painful and dismissive of the deep grief they are experiencing. 6. "You need to move on." Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Telling someone to move on invalidates their emotions and healing process. 7. "You could always adopt." Adoption is a deeply personal decision, not a simple solution to infertility. It’s not a replacement for the dream of carrying a biological child. 8. "Things happen for a reason." This phrase may feel comforting to some, but for someone experiencing infertility, IVF failure, or pregnancy loss, it can feel like their pain is being brushed aside. 9. "It could be worse." Comparing someone’s grief to other situations doesn’t help. Loss is loss, and everyone processes it differently. 10. "At least you weren’t too far along." No matter the gestation, the loss of a pregnancy is heartbreaking. Minimizing someone’s loss based on timing is insensitive and hurtful. What to Say to Someone Facing Infertility, Fertility Treatment, or Loss If you want to support someone facing infertility, fertility treatments, or pregnancy loss, consider saying: "I’m so sorry for what you’re going through." "I’m here if you need to talk." "This must be so hard. How can I support you?" "I don’t have the right words, but I care about you." A compassionate, non-judgmental space is crucial when navigating infertility, grief, and loss. If you or someone you love is struggling, seeking professional counselling can provide support during this journey. Final Thoughts Words matter. When supporting someone facing infertility, IVF, or fertility treatment, avoid dismissive phrases and instead offer empathy and understanding. Your kindness can make a world of difference in their healing process. Make an appointment with Emma at Your Story Counselling.

Grief is often seen as a universal experience, but sometimes, certain types of loss are not acknowledged or fully understood by society. One such experience is disenfranchised grief— a term that refers to grief that is not openly acknowledged, validated, or supported. In the context of infertility, miscarriage, or failed IVF treatments, many individuals and couples may experience disenfranchised grief, feeling isolated and unheard in their mourning process. The Nature of Disenfranchised Grief Disenfranchised grief can arise when a person experiences a significant loss but is unable to openly express their sorrow, or when the loss is not recognised by others. Unlike a death of a loved one, where grief is socially acceptable and supported, losses related to infertility or failed IVF treatments can often go unnoticed or minimised by society. When couples undergo IVF or struggle with infertility, they invest emotionally, physically, and financially into their journey toward parenthood. Each cycle, filled with hope and anticipation, can make the eventual disappointment of a negative result or failed pregnancy feel even more devastating. However, in many cases, others may not fully comprehend the depth of this pain, leaving individuals to grieve privately, with little or no external validation or support. The Unique Grief of Failed IVF, Miscarriage, and Infertility For those who experience failed IVF treatments or the inability to fall pregnant, the grief can feel complex and layered. This kind of loss often goes unrecognised because there is no tangible event, such as the death of a loved one, to validate the feelings of sorrow. The grief may also be experienced differently for each individual. For some, the loss of a potential child through IVF can feel just as painful as the loss of a pregnancy, despite never having met that child. The hope, plans, and dreams that were built around the possibility of becoming a parent can create a deep sense of loss and mourning. In cases of miscarriage, the loss can also be difficult to navigate. Although miscarriage is a common occurrence, many people feel pressured to "move on" quickly and not grieve for the lost pregnancy. The fact that the pregnancy may have been early, or that the loss was not immediately visible to others, can contribute to the feeling of disenfranchised grief. Individuals and couples often feel as though their grief is invalid or misunderstood because it does not fit the societal expectation of mourning a physical death. Why Is Disenfranchised Grief So Painful? Disenfranchised grief is painful because it denies individuals the emotional space to process their loss. Without validation from others, people may feel as though their grief is "wrong" or that they are overreacting. This lack of support can leave individuals feeling isolated, misunderstood, and emotionally disconnected. For those facing failed IVF, miscarriage, or infertility struggles, the grief can be compounded by feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy. Societal pressure to "get over it" or to simply "try again" can invalidate the complex emotional experience of coming to terms with a loss that is not openly acknowledged. Supporting Those Who Experience Disenfranchised Grief If you or someone you know is dealing with the grief of a failed IVF treatment, infertility, or miscarriage, it is important to remember that grief is valid—no matter how it is expressed. Creating a space for open dialogue and understanding is crucial in helping people navigate these losses. For individuals experiencing disenfranchised grief, it can be helpful to seek professional support, such as counselling, where they can process their emotions in a safe and nonjudgmental space. Counsellors can provide guidance and strategies for coping with grief, and help people feel heard and understood in their journey. Final Thoughts Disenfranchised grief, particularly in the context of IVF failures, miscarriage, and infertility, is a very real and often overlooked experience. It is important to recognize that the pain associated with these losses is valid and that seeking support is an essential step in healing. No one should have to navigate their grief alone, and creating a supportive environment where all forms of loss are acknowledged can help people move forward in a healthy, compassionate way. If you are struggling with disenfranchised grief and need support, consider reaching out to Emma Austin at Your Story Counselling who can help you process your emotions and guide you through your journey toward healing. 4o mini